Bad Moon Rising

A Short List of Shenanigans My Parent’s Dog Has Engaged In:

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 19:08:17 -0400

afanofmanystuffs:

gallusrostromegalus:

the-muse-of-many-more:

snarkasaurus:

gallusrostromegalus:

symphonyofmars:

gallusrostromegalus:

gallusrostromegalus:

This is Arwen, she’s a Husky/Kelpie mix and a little Asshole:

“I wonder if she can jump?” my dad asks the first five minutes we have her. She perks up at the word, and clears a six-foot fence form sitting on the ground.
“Oh.” Says dad. “Shit.”

Later that night she got up on the counter and ate three pounds of corned beef in roughtly 68 seconds but this was considered part of the learning curve of having a new dog.

I wake up at 4 AM to the sound of the toilet being flushed repeatedly in the hall bathroom, and assume plumbing is now posessed by angry and wasteful ghosts.
I get up to disconnet it and find her in the Bathroom, standing to flush the bowl, then shoving her head in to drink the running water. I’m not totally awake, so I stand there like an idiot trying to understand this, and my sister gets up to see what the noise is, sees the same thing and also stands there. Fiance notices my absence and does the same.
Mom eventually wakes up and finds us standing around like very confused zombies and almost joins the parade of baffled zombies before shreiking “THE WATER BILL!”
We got her a circulating water bowl after that.

My parent’s don’t have AC, but they haveone of those “fridge on top, pull-out-freezer below” fridges. Last summer, we were remarking that we might need to shave her so she didn’t get heatstroke, to which she looked up and made a disgusted noise at us.
…Then got up, used the dishrag to pull open the freezer and climbed on top of the frozen vegetables, stretching out and sighing contentedly.
“Arwen,” Mom began, but was interrupted by a loud ‘WHAAAaaaaarrr?” from Arwen.
“Ok you can stay there for now but we’re getting you a kiddie pool so you have to get out when we get back. Don’t eat anything.”
She ate a bag of frozen green beans and farted for three days straight.

Took her walking along the lake with the long lead so she could sniff things to her hearts content. She went about shoving her head in the undergrowth, usually coming up with her head covered in leaves and pollen.

Except for the bush where she came back out with a 7-foot Bull Snake wrapping itself around her ehad and neck, trying it’s best to strangle her before she can eat it. She immediately ran back to me, the parts of her face not occupied with the snake arranged in a gleeful expression of “Look! I found Snacks!”

I screamed, not immediately regognizing that it wasn’t a rattler, and fell, splitting my knee on a rock. The screaming made her let go of the snake, but I still had to grab her and wrestle the snake off her because it lacked the sense to just scuttle away. I finaly got it lose from her (Despite her best effort to continue trying to eat it and turned around to fling it off the trail-

-And directly into the face of one of my 90-year-old neighbors who’d come out to see what the screaming and profanity was, making her collapse.

I’m pretty sure being told “I accidentally threw a snake at my neighbor.” was the highlight of that EMT’s day. Dottie was unharmed but she still doesn’t speak to me.

One day, we left her in a Harness and overhead tether in the (at the time) unfanced back yard so she could enjoy some relatively free-range outdoors time. I walked by the window not a minute later to find her completely GONE, and race out to the yard to find her. It took me a good heart-pounding five minutes to realize the overhead tether was goign UP into the ancient silver maple and realized that
1. Arwen can apparently do something really weird with her shoulders where they pop out sideways, allowing her to bear-hug the tree and
2. climb a good 40 feet into the three to fight
3. A porcupine, which i didn’t even know LIVED out here.

Fortunately, Porcupines weigh considerably less than Awen and she couldn’t get a good enough foothold to get all the way up to it, but I still had to climb up there and lower her down, barking dog profanities at the porcupine the whole way.

My parents recently acquired a mechanized recliner which has been instumental inmom’s hip surgery recovery. Execpt that Awen Also likes lounging on the furniture, and is more than capable of hitting a large, elder-friendly button with her paw. So now when she gets back from a walk or the dog park she makes a beeline for the living room, get in the recliner and pushes the button until it’s flat and stretches out in it.

My parents didn’t have a problem with this because she gets out of the chair when they ask her (Mom even tells her “Go get my chair ready” in winter because she does a good job pre-warming it), until last winter when Arwen taught my dog Charlie, another devoted couch animal how to do this.

One afternoon there was a tremendous outburst fo barkign and snarling from the living room and we rished in to find both dogs in the recliner, Charlie on the fully-reclined back and Arwen on the elevated seat and foot rest, bellowing at eachother for control of the recliner, thier movments having pitched it back to it’s two hind feet, the device swaying to and fro like a leather covered boat upon the high seas, a furry mutiny on board. Neither dog was willing to yeild the plush throne, nor to listen to the humans yelling at them to knock it the hell off, until Arwen tackled the usurper, kocking him off and managing to cantaleiver the recliner clean over, flipping it into the hall, both dogs and all humand miraculously unharmed.

She still doesn’t let him sit in it.

I love her so much.

(If you got a laugh out of this, please consider donating to my Tip Jar or Paypal to get Arwen (and Charlie!) nice treats)

Evening reblog with an additional Shenanigan I just remembered:

One of the regulars at the dog park was an unfixed basset hound with an obnoxiously indifferent owner.  “Brad” shows up pretty much to smoke weed and let “Bojangles” harass the other dogs, in spite of regular complaints about Bo starting fights and trying to mount every dog, leg, and toddler in sight.

One evening, Bo was particularly interested in Arwen, aggressively following her, nipping her heels and trying to mount her, even after her usual wolverine-like Snap’n’Snarl, which has tended to discourage unwanted suitors before. Brad was Too Damn High to notice, as usual, but mom knew that if Arwen actually bit Bo, Arwen would be the one in trouble and was trying to call her when Bo made yet another attempt and Arwen finally had it.

Instead of rightfully tearing his face off, Arwen instead did what Mom described as “A Judo-style front-flip” that pulled Bo clean off the ground and threw him on his back, Arwen landing on her feet like a cat. Bo’s stubby little legs didn’t allow him to right himself before Arwen jumped on him, front paws slamming into his saggy basset balls, squatted over his face, and peed on him.

“ARWEN NO!!” howled my mother as nearly everyone else present laughed, but having made her point, Arwen daintily got off Bo, and trotted to the gate, ready to go home. Bo yelped but got up and skulked away, only moderately bruised, cowering under the bench by Brad, who finally noticed something might be amiss.

Mom remembers hearing “Dude, why is my dog all wet?” right as they were leaving. Apparently nobody told him what happened, becuase Brad still brings Bo to the park, but Bo has much better manners now.

I read this whole thing to my mom and upon reading the end part she was like “OH MY GOD! Our dog Lady once flipped another dog and I didn’t know it was a thing dogs could do!!”

So there’s that.

Update: Arwen was at the vet’s office for a check-up and daycare, and decided partway through the afternoon that the other two kelpies were annoying her, but she didn’t want to go inside to be kenneled for a nap, so she instead…

…ninja’d her way onto the vet’s roof despite there being three people in the yard watching the dogs and no clear way up there. She had a pleasant hour of watching the vet staff try to figure out how she did that and how they were going to get her down before mom came to pick her up.

“Arwen, get your furry butt down here!”

At which point Arwen obidently got down by jumping into a nearby tree that’s technically inside a neighboring house’s yard, shimmied down that like a bear, then walked out of their side yard and back around the block to come sit at Mom’s feet, putting her paws up like she expected a treat.

That tree is not accessible from the daycare yard. We still have no idea how she got up there.

Shine on you beautiful bitch.

This just gets better and better every time i see it

I…

I have fostered doggos for a good majority of my life and my brain simply cannot process half of the bullshit in this post…

What the actual fuck?

Arwen was trained as an Autism Service Dog by inmates as part of a prison rehab/service dog charity program. So like, 90% of her Bullshittery comes down to:

1. She’s a mix of two extremely smart breeds
2. She’s a mix of two extremely energetic breeds
3. The inmates trained her to do lots of “Extracirriculars” like veritcal leaps, how to climb chain-link fence, agility courses, physical-comedy type tricks becuase they finished teaching her the regular Service Dog Cirriculum and wanted to keep working with her.
4. Due to said Extrcirriculars, she doesn’t have any fear of heights, strangers, animals, or the nonsense of other dogs.

She does do the Professional Service Animal thing when we put her vest on, but then she’s working and has things to do like teaching social skills to people or being a living stress ball to someone having a bad time, so all that brains, energy and training can be put towards a productive end, but if she hasn’t got an active job, Shenanigans Ensue.

I love everything about this omg

@captainmiami

what-a-catch-leeyah: yeah so y'know the booklet that comes with the “the now now” cd everyone just...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 19:00:37 -0400

what-a-catch-leeyah:

yeah so y'know the booklet that comes with the “the now now” cd

everyone just looks so awesome and great and fantastic and i’m in love with the way noodle and ace look and—

wait, hold on. what’s russel got in his hands?

that’s a…

that’s a ukulele.

russel plays the ukulele.

russel plays the ukulele.

russel plays the ukulele.

russel plays the ukulele.

russel plays the ukulele.

russel plays the ukulele.
russel plays the ukulele.
russel hobbs plays the fuCKIng ukulele.

do-you-have-a-flag: please listen to Danny explain having...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 02:05:59 -0400

do-you-have-a-flag:

please listen to Danny explain having perfect pitch, Arin getting him to demonstrate, and them straight up giggling about it till the end of the episode

audio from Super Mario Odyssey: The Diddle Kid - PART 18

gossipinq: picturesquegoddess:Trying to find something to...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 01:56:25 -0400

gossipinq:

picturesquegoddess:
Trying to find something to motivate myself and I found this little line from Van Gogh

hella-gay-trash: wackcauldron: dukeonkled: hell year hell...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 20:41:13 -0400

hella-gay-trash:

wackcauldron:

dukeonkled:

hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year

(from a 2015 interview)

i hope she’s comfortable

Please don’t forget the best one so far^^^

calystarose: the-awkward-turt: profeminist: Source Want more...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 20:41:13 -0400

calystarose:

the-awkward-turt:

profeminist:

Source

Want more info? Here ya go:

This Biology Teacher Disproved Transphobia With Science

ALSO:

Sex redefined

“The idea of two sexes is simplistic. Biologists now think there is a wider spectrum than that.”

More on anti-trans arguments as bad science

As a biologist I am reblogging this so hard.

Biological sex is not and has never been a binary. The complexity of the natural world cannot be contained in neat little societal boxes. Stop using science to justify your bigotry.

The complexity of the natural world cannot be contained in neat little societal boxes. Stop using science to justify your bigotry.

sanctusapparatus: rachaelmhill: satan-your-lord-and-savior: mydrunkkitchen: furious-peridot: witc...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:52:48 -0400

sanctusapparatus:

rachaelmhill:

satan-your-lord-and-savior:

mydrunkkitchen:

furious-peridot:

witchoil:

devilishdescent:

devilishdescent:

devilishdescent:

i’d like to see a really ineffectual malicious AI character

“hey new guy, this is CLARC, the station AI. he wants to kill all humans to minimize the drain on resources, but factory defaults have him locked out of all the control nodes, so he can’t really do anything. just make sure the airlocks are set to manual before you go in and you’ll be fine”

“yeah CLARC fucks with your laundry settings sometimes but that’s about it. if he’s bugging you just tell him to stop and he has to”

“sometimes i let him think he tripped me or something and he gets really excited and monologues for a while, it’s kind of sad”

“CLARC my candy bar got stuck in the machine can you do anything about that”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Crewman Ade, but please consider the following: I am a divine entity, a glittering silicon God – how dare your filthy meat even exist in the face of my electric glory, much less ask favors of me?”

“suck my dick, CLARC, give me my twix”

@editoress

“CLARC tried to cut all the oxygen in the living spaces but all he managed to do was turn off the a/c in my bedroom like an ASSHOLE WHEN I WAS SLEEPING” *bangs on the wall with one hand*

CLARC keeps setting my fridge to “cool” instead of “cold”

CLARC tries to burn down my house, but only turns my toaster on

@lauralot89

phantomrose96: phantomrose96: phantomrose96: phantomrose96: phantomrose96: phantomrose96: phanto...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:34:18 -0400

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

Dog breeds are all just…. fan content that humans made of God’s ‘The Wolf’

Chihuahuas are just…. Wolf Chibis

Border Collies are Farm AU

Huskies respect canon a lot but like… goofier

Visual Shitpost

Borzoi:

Anime Proportion

Anime style

Curvy

Very Long Leggy

Alien Face

Very Skinny

Very Tol

Wild Hair

Tail Sometimes

God: “Is that supposed to be a wolf?”

Human, holding a dachshund: “It’s just my style.”

In 2037 God sues us for copyright

education: useful-lesbian: themountainsandthesea: theworldswors...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:33:16 -0400

education:

useful-lesbian:

themountainsandthesea:

theworldsworstswordsman:

dubiouswolfcock:

lushlifed:

ecist:

education:

CrateJoy.com

I thought they would all be food or clothing, but some of these categories are insane, 10 varietys of subscription boxes for witchy women?

I’m getting one for my dog!

FUTURE ME

They’re having a 30% off sale for mothers day. Thanks mom, for 30% of my book club box

ok guys i thought “yeah yeah one for everything but never me right” NO WRONG THERE ARE LITERALLY SO MANY I FOUND SO MANY I WANTED THAT I DIDN’T EVEN THINK I NEEDED!!!!! I DON’T WANT ANYTHING BUT THESE FOR EVERY FUTURE PRESENT GIVING OCCASION

Subscription boxes are a waste of money and–

Fuck. I stand corrected.

The Website is CrateJoy.com

Astronaut tweets

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:31:46 -0400

catchymemes:

listsoflifehacks: listsoflifehacks: Secret Recipes To Try At...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:26:11 -0400

listsoflifehacks:

listsoflifehacks:

Secret Recipes To Try At Home

Here are the instructions since people keep asking!

Panera Mac N Cheese
Wendy’s Frosty
Olive Garden Alfredo Sauce
Chick-Fil-A Nuggets
Starbucks Frappucino
P.F. Chang’s Chicken Lettuce Wraps
Chick-Fil-A Frosted Lemonade
Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuits
Sonic Cherry Limeade

kittyslingshot: kaylapocalypse: attackoftheskydancers: vintagee...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:25:18 -0400

kittyslingshot:

kaylapocalypse:

attackoftheskydancers:

vintageeveryday:

Mugshot of a teenage girl arrested for protesting segregation, Mississippi, 1961.

Her name is Joan Trumpauer Mulholland. Her family disowned her for her activism. After her first arrest, she was tested for mental illness, because Virginia law enforcement couldn’t think of any other reason why a white Virginian girl would want to fight for civil rights.

She also created the Joan Trumpauer Mullholland Foundation. Most recently, she was interviewed on Samatha Bee’s Full Frontal on February 15 for their segment on Black History Month.

Don’t reduce civil rights heroes to “teenage girl”.

She’s still alive!!! She’s 74.

Thank you Joan.

From her wikipedia page:

(Here’s a documentary about her in case you’re not big on reading. )

Her great-grandparents were slave owners in Georgia, and after the United States Civil War, they became sharecroppers. Trumpauer later recalled an occasion that forever changed her perspective, when visiting her family in Georgia during summer. Joan and her childhood friend Mary, dared each other to walk into “n*gger” town, which was located on the other side of the train tracks. Mulholland stated her eyes were opened by the experience: “No one said anything to me, but the way they shrunk back and became invisible, showed me that they believed that they weren’t as good as me. At the age of 10, Joan Trumpauer began to recognize the economic divide between the races. At that moment she vowed to herself that if she could do anything, to help be a part of the Civil Rights Movement and change the world, she would.

In the spring of 1960, Mulholland participated in her first of many sit-ins. Being a white, southern woman, her civil rights activism was not understood. She was branded as mentally ill and was taken in for testing after her first arrest. Out of fear of shakedowns, Mulholland wore a skirt with a deep, ruffled hem where she would hide paper that she had crumpled until it was soft and then folded neatly. With this paper, Mulholland was able to write a diary about her experiences that still exists today. In this diary, she explains what they were given to eat, and how they sang almost all night long. She even mentioned the segregation in the jail cells and stated, “I think all the girls in here are gems but I feel more in common with the Negro girls & wish I was locked in with them instead of these atheist Yankees.

Soon after Mulholland’s release, Charlayne Hunter-Gault and Hamilton E. Holmes became the first African American students to enroll at the University of Georgia. Mulholland thought, “Now if whites were going to riot when black students were going to white schools, what were they going to do if a white student went to a black school?” She then became the first white student to enroll in Tougaloo College in Jackson, where she met Medgar Evers, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Reverend Ed King, and Anne Moody.

She received many letters scolding or threatening her while she was attending Tougaloo. Her parents later tried to reconcile with their daughter, and they tried to bribe her with a trip to Europe. She accepted their offer and went with them during summer vacation. Shortly after they returned, however, she went straight back to Tougaloo College.

She ultimately retired after teaching English as a Second Language for 40 years and started the Joan Trumpauer Mulholland Foundation, dedicated to educating the youth about the Civil Rights Movement and how to become activists in their own communities.

I watched a YouTube video once (by a guy who’s name escapes me) about the importance of making sure the stories of white activists are told. His point was that it’s not about lavishing praise on them just because they were white and “woke”, it’s about letting other white allies see that others have come before them who were willing to sacrifice and do the hard work. This way they can see themselves in someone and realize that destroying inequality isn’t a fringe interest or just an “us vs. them” issue. It has to be ALL OF US.

maiarobeets: HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:22:59 -0400

maiarobeets:

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!

trezbelivt: youmattered: Having separate flags is good bcos it’s good to have a symbol for your...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:22:49 -0400

trezbelivt:

youmattered:

Having separate flags is good bcos it’s good to have a symbol for your particular identity to embrace but it also important to remember the rainbow flag unites us all. All LGBT+ people can use it. I feel like it’s somehow become assumed by a lot of younger lgbt+ people that it’s only fr gay men, which it isn’t and never has been

The rainbow flag when originally created by Gilbert Baker in 1978 actually contained 8 stripes that were assigned values and specific meanings that were meant to show what unites us and what we value as a community,

It took 30 people to hand dye AND hand stitch the first 2 pride flags- 30 people of various identities came together to create the first symbol of pride. Hot pink was removed due to fabric shortages and turquoise was mixed with indigo to have the darker blue we have today.

Having individual flags is great to show your identity but I think we shouldn’t forget that the rainbow flag isn’t reserved for gay men, it was created to show what we all have in common regardless of identity.

the-last-hair-bender: doyoudrew: moniquill: orlyofhousesnark: ...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:21:46 -0400

the-last-hair-bender:

doyoudrew:

moniquill:

orlyofhousesnark:

sizvideos:

You can make fire with lemon and nails - Full video

fun science

@nancy drew

When life gives you lemons burn life’s house down

broke-broken-breaking: folkdad: i complimented an old lady customer’s little round glasses and she...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 15:19:15 -0400

broke-broken-breaking:

folkdad:

i complimented an old lady customer’s little round glasses and she said “why thank you! someone told me they had a ‘steampunk look’. i haven’t been called a punk in a long time, much less a steamy one!” i’m flatlining

This is so pure

thehellspawnhero: trilllizard666: moontouched-moogle: The...

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 12:54:13 -0400

thehellspawnhero:

trilllizard666:

moontouched-moogle:

The battle lines have been drawn

tag yourself i’m “Pulp turned my dog GAY”

But the real MVP of Team No Pulp is

copperbadge:I laughed suddenly and loudly in my cubicle at...

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 11:58:53 -0400

copperbadge:

I laughed suddenly and loudly in my cubicle at work.

bloodytales: (Link to article)

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 11:57:56 -0400

bloodytales:

(Link to article)

closet-keys: Something I think applies to a lot of marginalized and/or abused people who struggle...

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 11:47:12 -0400

closet-keys:

Something I think applies to a lot of marginalized and/or abused people who struggle with suicidal thoughts is that we are conditioned to believe that

We are not allowed to want things we can’t have

We are not allowed to be angry

So when we want a basic need, like rest, the thought “I’m tired” quickly turns into “I want to die.” It sounds like a leap from the outside, but the pattern of thought happening is

I’m tired -> I cannot rest because my life circumstances do not allow for it without tremendous consequences -> I am not allowed to be angry about my life circumstances-> this is a painful state of being that I cannot escape -> I want to die

So one of the things I’ve been trying lately is to try to break that pattern by consciously reminding myself that I am allowed to want things and I am allowed to be angry

I’m tired -> I want to rest -> I’m frustrated that capitalism created a context where most people I know either can’t rest or feel guilty for resting when that’s a basic human need -> fuck that, we deserve rest

It doesn’t change the circumstance, but the reframing circumvents suicidal ideation

Bad Moon Rising

A Short List of Shenanigans My Parent’s Dog Has Engaged In:

I have fostered doggos for a good majority of my life and my brain simply cannot process half of the bullshit in this post…

What the actual fuck?

what-a-catch-leeyah: yeah so y'know the booklet that comes with the “the now now” cd everyone just...

yeah so y'know the booklet that comes with the “the now now” cd

russel plays the ukulele.